theMediaman.com

While bathroom graffiti is usually of some entertainment, it has become rare to find anything of note.  Although my first interest is often sparked by the inexplicable concept that someone went to the bathroom with a pen-in-hand, most of this modern philosophy has been reduced to three words or less.

When was the last time you saw a paragraph (ie. more than one sentence) composed on the toilet stall? For me it’s been a while. It occurs to me that with the proliferation of Web 2.0, everyone in the blogosphere is simultaneously getting their fifteen minutes of fame. Instead of this resulting in the celebrity of a singular “You”, it instead results in the celebrity of the collective “You” as observed by the Time Magazine’s Person Of The Year for 2006.

We have a louder voice, but our thoughts are more anonymous than ever.

The bathroom walls are more barren than they once were. Perhaps people are carrying fewer pens than they did in the 90’s? Instead of searching for the longest restroom comprehensive effort, I find myself instead looking for the ones written in Sharpie instead of ballpoint.

I figure that someone who brings a Sharpie with them to the washroom must have a piece of momentary universal clarity that could be lost before he reaches an Internet connection, allowing it to fade back into the cosmic ether from which it spawned.

Unfortunately, since I usually only frequent pubs and sports bars, that ‘clarity’ is often nothing more than “HABS SUK BAWLS”

In spite of the title, microbrews in Toronto and elsewhere around South Central Ontario don’t tend to disappint me.  Just yesterday I had a Tank House Ale (Mill St. Brewery) while on a patio in the Distillery District, and it was one of the tastiest beers I’ve had in a while.

My issue is with the cost of beer.  At the Queens in Barrie, a ten-spot could buy you three bottles of Canadian. In Waterloo, a ‘premium’ beer would usually go for around $4.75 (give or take 50 cents depending on how reputable the place was). As soon as I moved to Toronto in 1999, I was upset to find pints for over 5 bucks, and over 6 for premiums. I probably wouldn’t have as much of an issue with it if the “domestics” weren’t always the same Golden 4… Canadian, Blue, Coors Light and Bud. A “premium” beer includes Rickards Red and Alexander Keiths.

It took me a loooong time to get used to six dollar pints. For many years I was always on the lookout for places that had it cheaper… even by half a dollar. Usually such places served highly carbonated beers, or were notorious for recycling beer.

When the beers are poured the same everywhere, I am offended by such pricing schemes. In 98% of the establishments with taps throughout the GTA, if you order a beer for $3 or $6, you usually get the same crappy pour - opening the tap with the glass underneath, leaving large bubbles on top, and when the glass overflows there is no effort - NO EFFORT - in cleaning off the sides.

Participate in some (but by no means all) of the steps for pulling a perfect pint of Stella.

In spite of my gross disappointment with 98% of bartenders in this city, after eight years of living in Toronto (and the GTA), I’ve finally decided I’m ready to be comfortable paying six bucks for a premium pint…

…sometime recently they’ve moved to $7.

Six-ninety-nine, six ninety-five, seven even, whatever. I’ve only just adjusted to paying that previously unearned value and they’ve raised it again. Why must they mock me?

Simone, Michelle and I went to the Pickel Barrel Grande at Yonge/Dundas Saturday night. The pints were once again, seven bucks for a 20 oz. pint of “premium” Keiths. Since the ‘fancy’ drinks were the same price, I figured that I’d make them work for their seven bucks.

I ordered a Toronto Margarita. Whatever connection that has to Toronto I haven’t figured yet, but it was the least sweet and sugary drink on the menu. Basically, it was Gold tequila, triple sec, lime juice, and some other crap. Very tasty, and I felt so content in making them work for the money that I didn’t care that I had ordered a girly drink.

One of - if not my absolute favourite drinking holes is still The Gem. When Simone used to live right around the corner, we would often drop in. I’d order a pint of whatever of two or three beers were on tap (usually microbrews or Amsterdam discount beer), and Simone would get a glass of wine. The beers were poured to the brim, and the wine would be served in a drinking glass, again filled almost to the brim. The whole cost after taxes would come to $10 even.

Still, by the city as a whole, I feel cheated.  $7 for a pint is too damned much, unless you earn it.