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Last night Simone and Mini-Ben pulled me out to play dodgeball.  It’s a Toronto Parks & Rec thing, so it takes place in a public school gymnasium.  The freshly mopped bathroom reaked of urine and there was discarded food containers in the corners of the hallway. Basically, it looked how you’d expect a Toronto public school to look if CityTV’s exposés are to be believed.

After only a few matches, those parts of my lungs that haven’t seen much use since I cancelled my gym membership started loosening up and reminded me that I treat my body with the same care as a smoker. By the end of the night, my legs were moving a little slow (sort of like when you click on a link and two seconds later the page actually responds).

My lungs are heathy and pink enough that they were able to handle the workout, but my thighs took the worst of it.  They’re muscles that I never use unless climbing stairs or, apparently, dodging balls. So I’ve been feeling fine most of today until I start climbing stairs and the underworked muscles come back to haunt me.

Sadly, even being lazy hurts. Rather than playing tennis, baseball, boxing or even a light game of bowling, Simone and I have bought a Wii (and justified the purchase as an engagement gift to ourselves). The first night we had it, Simone brought some work home with her and did that while I hit home runs and bowled turkeys. It was a full two hours before she took over the controller.  During that time I didn’t necessarily play vigourously, but I did have my right arm up and swinging for the entire stretch.

The next two days were full of stress and pain in every muscle in my arm. From the bicep to the balancing muscles and my fingers holding the controller, everything was sore. It seems that the “Revolution” of new controllers simply exchange the malady of Nintendo Thumb with Wii Arm.

The whole thing was agrivated by whipping around dodgeballs last night.  However, I’m worried my right arm is going to become much stronger than the left. Thinking of ways to overcome this, I’m considering playing Super Mario Galaxy with my right hand, but committing to Wii Sports as a southpaw.

Another alternative is to play a lot of Wii Boxing (the only game I have so far that give equal time to the right-hand controller and the left-hand ‘nunchuck’). While this alone doesn’t burn a lot of calories, I figure a couple wrist-weights might increase the effort, and the challenge of the game.

Also coming soon is a game called WiiFit.  It looks like most of the ’games’ are Yoga or fitness style, but there looks to be at least a few high-intensity activities like pushups. A study (admittingly funded by Nintendo UK’s own marketing team) found a difference in calories burned between a session of gaming on the Wii and a sit-down racing game on an Xbox360. But “156% more energy burned” than sitting on your ass and watching TV is like multiplying 156 x 0.

And any game that Miyamoto is excited about, I’m excited about.  For those who don’t know video games, it’s like hearing that Spielberg is particularly excited about a movie, or Barry Bonds is excited about a new brand of steroid.

I wonder what the Wii equivalent of steroids is.  Ideas?