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Last Friday Simone and I went to see Beowolf in IMAX 3-D. We were joined by some of the women from her office and, in spite of a promise there would be at least one other guy in the group, there were none. That still didn’t stop me from frequently reciting a chorus of “Angelina Jolie’s 3-D boobies” before, during and after the movie.

The plot and scenery was relatively simple, there were the obvious monster battles, and revolutionary special effects… but it all seemed familiar.  I haven’t seen Polar Express, so the filming technique used once before in that movie wasn’t it. I didn’t recognize the story or any variation on it, so that couldn’t be it. 

A few days later, I finally realized the parallels between Beowolf and Clash of the Titans. Between the mythological story and revolutionary special effects (not to mention the very successful weekend box office), Beowolf has a chance to be this generation’s Clash of the Titans. It’s even quite likely the NEXT generation after this one will look back on the special effects with the same snicker kids today might when they look at Ray Harryhausen’s stop-motion technique.

Fun movie, but very graphic and really, really bloody. It’s kind of like watching Pixar remake Braveheart.

There’s a scene near the beginning where Beowolf is completely in the buff (Norwegian ’shrinkage’ never mentioned), and the subsequent scenes take advantage of strategically placed swords, smoke, flames and shadows to keep the his appendage off-screen.  That’s fine once or twice, but when it happens throughout the scene it becomes satirical, and reminiscent of the strategically placed objects in the Austin Powers movies.

What Angelina Jolie’s nude self does to Beowolf’s sword while seducing him has to be the least subtle sexual innuendo in the history of film-making.  It actually made me laugh!

Watching the movie on a seven-story screen makes the ultra-closeups prevalent in 3-D movies even more enriching.  Filling your complete field-of-view, you really feel like you’re in the character’s personal space bubble. The placement of the camera is key to telling a good story, and camera movement that is only possible with CG is used effectively.

This could have been a movie that buried IMAX. With Digital 3-D projectors starting to fill in newer cineplexes instead of the more expensive, larger footprint IMAX systems, IMAX could have seen a lot of theatres moving away from their technology.  However, the most interesting number to come out from this weekend’s box office take was that 40% of the gross was from IMAX 3-D and Digital 3-D theatres. IMAX is getting all the praise, because it’s their processing technique that allows both kinds of theatres to show 3-D movies.

The two new James Cameron movies will be out in 2009, will both be shown in 3-D, and are supposed to show off some revolutionary new technology that made Spielberg and Peter Jackson giddy when they first got to play with it. 3-D may not become the mainstream, but it’s interesting that budgets (and technology) have finally gotten high enough for movies to exploit this technique.

When it comes out on video, I’m going to see if I can use this to convince Simone (and myself) that we should upgrade our entertainment system to HDTV. It’s probably my best chance to convince Simone - at least until a movie comes out featuring Matt Damon’s bum.

I’m a Microsoft lacky. I’ll shout it proudly.

I prefer the world Bill Gates has set out for us where everything works poorly together. Not the one Steve Jobs has set out where several things work well together (for a 50% premium on each), or the one Linus Torvolds has set out where everything works fantastic but not at all with one another (look up “Linux Flavours“).

I don’t intend to argue with people over which dead end option is the least-worst (although I feel I should disclose that I enjoy pissing off Apple Prophets). All three options have pros and cons, like anything in life.  My sin is simply that I prefer Microsoft.

One feature of the new Mac OS X 10.5 that I kinda like is Time Machine.  Using a clever, 3D interface, you can rummage through all files you’ve ever created, and restore ones that might have been deleted.  Problems with this include the need to buy a large external hard drive, it doesn’t work on older Macs (specifically because of the 3D interface), and the fact that deleting your porn sensitive files might not completely delete them from being found.

Just quickly, I’ll address the “older Macs” issue. Yes, Vista won’t work on comparible PC to the Macintosh G4’s, but Windows Home server requires nothing more than Windows XP which can run happlily on a mid-range Pentium III.

Looking for a backup system for my machine hasn’t been a big concern until after I moved in with Simone the total of active computers in my house rose to three (two desktops and a notebook). There are also a lot of digital photographs that sometimes exist on only one hard drive, and the two desktops are starting to show age (4-6 years old).

My first solution of an external hard drive that connects directly to the network was full of holes. The primary issue was that the file system on the hard drive had to be FAT32 instead of something more secure and error-proof like NTFS. The cost of deployment would be around $200 after installing a 500 GB hard drive.

More recently I looked at the new Windows Home Server.  There are several important features, but the one I’m most concerned with is the backups.  Like Time Machine, it does incremental backups, so it doesn’t use up space re-writing the same files over and over again.  It backs up from all Windows PCs on the network, so those same redundant files (photos, system files, etc.) are also not repeated. All of this is done automatically, another timesaver.

The hope is for everyone to buy a pre-built machine from HP or Dell or whatever and pay $500-600 for the privilege. I was able to find minimum system requirements and found that a 1 GHz P3 with 512 MB of RAM can do the job.  Considering that these can be found for about $75, that’s pretty damned good.

Turning one of our desktops into the server will save even more money. So total cost of deployment will be $166 for the OS and around $100 for the hard drive. All administration is done through a web browser, so the machine just needs to have a power plug and a network cable hooked into it.

Some secondary features are also there that I was hoping for, including the ability to set up a rudimentary web server to share photos, videos and music. We can also store and share our music collections, freeing up hard drive space on our main computers.

Sure there’s a cool 3D interface on Time Machine.  Sure there’s probably an open-source, command-line version for the flavour of Linux you’re sporting.  Sure the initial release of Home Server is probably going to be ridden with bugs.

I still love Bill.

Filling up valuable relax-time on the weekend, Simone and I watched Minority Report - a movie that has, over time, floated up near the top of my list of Favourite Spielberg Flicks. The Phillip K. Dick short story is really quite difficult to follow, and I’m impressed they were able to simplify the plot while extending it out to a feature length film. Look to “Paycheck” to see an excellent example of failing to extend a short story to feature-length.

Five years after the movie (and six years following 9/11), there are some near-futuristic elements that seem right around the corner. 

The transit system of cars driving themselves got a boost last week when the DARPA  Awards held the first Urban Competition.  The first few years of the DARPA awards required that cars, trucks, and even a motorbike try to drive themselves through a desert course. The first few years, no vehicle was able to make it, but eventually one did.

This year, the competition involved driving 60 miles in under 6 hours, avoiding collisions with other robotic drivers as well as human drivers, through an urban setting.  No less than three teams managed to complete the challenge in under 6 hours, and a total of eight were able to complete the course. Self-driving cars likely won’t be in the 2009 lineup at your local GM dealer, but it will certainly arrive before 2055 (when the events in the movie take place).

Driving up to, and parking in a garage on the same floor as your condo is already something being built into some ultra-rich apartments in Manhatten. Right now, it’s for the ultra-rich, but once upon a time, cars were for the ultra-rich. By 2055 it may become a common feature.

RFID tags have started being implanted in some employees, depending on where you work. The state of California has ruled it unconstitutional to force someone to have an RFID tag implanted, and I believe there’s something similar in Canada (although I can’t find reference to it). RFID tags can be read from a distance. While this is more low-tech than the cornea scans used in Minority Report, it still works the same.

Access to secure areas, police identification, and even targeted advertising by billboards can all be accomplished with RFID implants. There are conveniences allowed to those who give up a piece of their privacy. The “Powers That Be” can really get this done by getting parents to have one inserted into their kids. Growing up with the convenience that comes with an RFID tag solves the Convenience vs. Privacy issue in no more than one generation.

There’s already a cell phone out there that lets parents track their kids online using the embedded GPS. I’m sure that a 12 year old would be happy to have the leash extended for the value of being one of the first kids in your grade to get a cell phone. They will grow up comfortable with a perpetual watching eye.

Don’t believe me?  Why do you use credit/debit cards? It’s more convenient then cash. But you can’t think that the credit card companies and banks never take advantage and sell your buying habits, do you? You’ve just given up a small piece of your privacy for convenience. It doesn’t feel like much, but it’s still been done.

How about security? A lot of the “suspect your neighbour” rhetoric had died down in Canada and mainstream media since the initial reaction after 9/11, but I was still surprised by the shear quantity of “Report Anyone Suspicious” posters littering New York City six years later. I have to admit I was a little saddened by the fact they’re still not in a state of mind where they can trust.

Even now, they’re looking at installing cameras on all busses and streetcars in Toronto. It improves security for the drivers and the riders, but again you’ve given up a small part of your privacy for security.

I’m sorry if this is turning a little “Big Brother”, but that’s really a major thematic element of Minority Report. The difference between 1949 and “Nineteen Eighty-Four” may have seemed drastic, so naturally we would never let any government invoke “Thought Police”.  However, if it came as a pilot project, then was implemented on a test area, then was voted by the public to go national after resounding success, then such a transition is feasible and frightfully real.

So much of Minority Report was near-future, but still “Futuristic” in 2002. In just five years since the movie came out, a lot has happened to bring 2055 towards the present. The movie feels even more chilling now than it did then.

At least we can hope for a Spielberg Happy Ending^©.