theMediaman.com

When The Lesser is The More-er

Last night, after promising myself that I would go to bed after Nikita, then after Simpsons, then after Keen Eddie, then after South Park (around 1:30 AM) I happened across CP24 and their FlashBack newscast. They were showing an old broadcast that discussed John Turner’s expected election call. With quick quips from a couple MP’s including the Opposition Leader at the time, Brian Mulroney *ptuu* no one was seeing the election as a sure thing for the Tories. In fact, everyone was referring to that ever-popular element of Democracy, “The Lesser of Two Evils”.

Every four years, when an American election is run (rigged, whatever), I find it a pinnacle of irony. How odd that the champion for Freedom, the Poster Child for Democracy has a two party system. I’m sure that if one wanted to find what the true majority of Americans chose in the 2000 election, that “Holding your nose and voting for The Lesser of Two Evils” would be in the Oval Office right now…

…but then again, this is America. Just because you got the most votes doesn’t mean you win - Fox Mulder

Now come back to Canada with me for a moment. Here we have a unique situation. Five official political parties. Why does Cretien’s Liberals keep winning? They’re the most harmless… by no measure are they completely harmless, but when there’s five degrees of measurement then it’s all relative. There’s a real movement to getting the Liberals out of power. And if (when?) Paul Martin becomes the next Prime Minister, I can’t see myself voting for them either.

The Ontario Provincial election is as little as a few months away, so I suggest you start really thinking and researching who you would vote for now. It’s easy to get caught up in the hyped promises and slanderous ads.

When Canada ousted John Turner and the Liberals, Mulroney’s Tories filled the spot. The deficit rose to irrational levels and they pried the gap between classes wider.

When Ontario ousted David Peterson’s Liberals, choosing to experiment with the NDP, that was a reknowned failure. Whose fault that was can be discussed another day - but a subsequent fallout of Ontario’s choice to NOT CHOOSE the Liberals was an opportunity for Harris’s Common Sense Revolution to plow through social services, government responsibilities and the middle-to-lower class as only the rich see fit. I still remember people telling me how proud they were of their vote, saying “well, at least he’s not lying to us about the cuts”. No, he lies about what money he spends.

The moral of the story is simply to do the work. Don’t simply look for what you don’t want in a candidate - ask questions, figure out what you want for Ontario, talk to others about it, and most importantly, talk to MPP candidates about what you want and need for Ontario in the coming five years.

We may not get to be labelled the Poster Children for Democracy, but maybe we can keep the ideal alive just a while longer.

Of Love and Ex’s

Well, nothing written in my Blog for a while… but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been composing my thoughts.

Staying off-line allowed me to be a bit more candid with my thoughts - myself being my only critic. This was needed since I had a rather unexpected reaction after finding out the Big News about Ruth getting engaged.

You always know how you think you will react - or how you want to react - when news like this comes forward about an ex. Whether you were the break-upper or break-uppee; if you recovered quickly or you pined for years - or worse - if you still hold a flame; you never can really predict what will happen inside of you when the news comes down the pipe.

Luckily, I was nearly at the end of my workday when I read about it. I was already trying to cope with the fact that the Tim Hortons near my workplace had just shut down to do renovations for three weeks, and I was only running on stockpiled caffene.

My eyes lost focus on everything around me, but I could still read the screen clearly. I think I almost fell out of my chair. My head wasn’t running a mile-a-minute, like I would have predicted. Conversely, it felt like my frontal lobe just shut down. For the rest of the workday, I sort of just spaced out (tho’ no one seemed to notice a difference in my work performance). After, I went home to sort out my feelings.

The most obvious question was ‘Why did I react like this?‘ It wasn’t a negative reaction, nor a positive one. It wasn’t relieving nor crushing. My thoughts couldn’t be organized, but they weren’t in a jumbled mess either. While I expected to be most confused about why I reacted this way when I know that I’m over Ruth, the biggest question was ‘Why did I react like this when I know that I’m in Love with Simone?‘

Now, as an aside, I am definitely happy for Ruth. I could talk about how great this is for her and how George is a good man but this is MY BLOG! It’s all about ME!! So I’m writing about ME!!!

Unsure of how to describe what I did when I got home and sorted this out, I won’t bother trying to write about it here. However, I did make a few conclusions.

After taking a rather *ahem* extended time to “get over” Ruth, I indeed was completely over Ruth. There was no lingering regret about the breakup, nor any flame held for her. The emotions that caused my mental CTRL-ALT-DEL were nothing so basic as happiness, sadness nor fury. The only way to describe it was as an absence.

The loss is not missed. I think that when I had my Big Revelation a few years back that allowed me to move on, that the loss I felt became buried in me. I moved on because I knew that Ruth and I were different people and it was never going to happen again…

…hmm… this is getting kind of personal for a publicly viewable blog. But I want you and anyone else who finds himself/herself reliving an old breakup to understand why this can come back at you even years after resolution.

By ignoring the details of why we broke up, I think the fact that it remained ‘unfinished business’ deep down inside of me. When I fell in Love with Simone, I knew that I was okay. I was am happy, and more in Love than I was with Ruth or even Rebecca (my first love). I thought that my lingering sorrow regarding the breakup was over with.

When I read that Ruth was engaged to be married - that was the last of the pain. Now I know that Ruth is happy, and that both halves of that relationship are taken care of.

It’s silly that deep down, I needed this for closure. I had been told that Ruth was happy, and I had met George. I knew that they were in Love - but when I only see her once a year or so, it is just not as real as it suddenly became last week.

I guess we’re all capable of reacting unexpectedly to a situation like hearing that your ex is getting married. What blew my mind was that I figured I would behave positively or negatively… I didn’t count on no significant reaction. My brain shut down, anticipating a bombshell of emotions. Only, it was more like a false alarm.

Weird.

When I went to see Simone later that night, I thought things would be different. I don’t know, maybe I’ll have more confidence, maybe I’ll look in to her eyes and see a reflection of recently-unbridled Love, something will be different…

…but it wasn’t. I loved Simone before, and I love her now. No more, no less.

Somehow, that was even more comforting.

Well, following only one day after the AFI concert, Simone and I went to see Foo Fighters at The International Centre… literally across the street from Pearson Int’l Airport.

The venue looks like this giant airplane hangar, and had great sound… I think. We most of the concert in good position around the equilateral triangle that provides best sound fidelity. Unfortunately, the alcohol service was beyond pathetic. Simone and I tried to get drinks, but after five minutes, we hadn’t moved even two feet into the bar-crowd, six-foot deep.

Because it was an all-ages show, they had two areas sectioned off for drinking, with one entrance and one exit each. When we gave up trying to get six-dollar drinks, we squeezed our way back the way we came in. We were told that it was “Entrance Only”. No one was trying to get in at the time, but rules are rules to a neanderthal. He pointed far away and told us that we would have to ‘go out there’. I told him it that it was too crowded… as he started to turn away I asked him to ’stop letting so many fucking people in’. No response. Dick.

When the Foo’s went on, Dave Grohl screamed for the first 15 minutes, then continued to sing for the next hour with only periodic breaks to rest his voice. This guy has an insane endurance. The whole concert was being taped for DVD distribution, and it was definitely a worthy show.

After dropping off Simone, I was ready to get a good sleep. I hadn’t had many long sleeps over the weekend, and two concerts in two nights takes a lot out of a person.

As I’m watching some TV before going to bed, I see - out of the corner of my eye - some thing dark, blurry and fast move from my desk to under the sofa.

Not entirely sure what I saw (if anything… it was late and dark in my Living room), I grabbed a rolled up newspaper in the hopes that it was something squishable. I rest my hand on one arm of the sofa… timed my breathing… and threw the sofa, pivoting on the other side. Even though it moved too fast to see exactly what it was, I knew from the long tail that it was a mouse. Just what I need at 1:00 AM on a weeknight.

Making my second trip out to the 24 hr. Dominion supermarket, I picked up some fancy, brand-name mouse traps. I loaded them up with peanut butter, put one where I first saw the bugger and another near the sofa.

OK, I’m not afraid of mice. So screw you if you’re thinking I should just chase after it. Well, I was still startled by seeing it, it’s much, much faster than me, and I’m very tired…

…that’s just the problem. My bed is a futon… close to the ground, so I couldn’t possibly go to sleep on it while that thing is still roaming around. So I sat on my Kitchen stool and waited. I watched Classic Star Trek, Star Trek: DS9 and an X-Files episode. The last was an episode about this creature that crawls up inside its victims… not the kind of thing you want to watch when you’ve got a small critter in your house. I was going to turn to another station, but I realized that I needed closure on this story and watched the episode through to the end.

Around 4:00, I couldn’t stand it any more and crouched up on my sofa… not a comfortable sleep.

The last I saw of the little fucker was running into my hall closet. There’s an access door in there in order to get to the pipes, so I figure that’s how it got in/out. I placed a trap where I saw him first, and where I saw him last. This whole thing happened late, late Monday night (or early Tuesday morning… depending on your view of things).

On Tuesday afternoon, I talked to Martin… the tenant who rents the main level of the house… who said that he’s seen a mouse as well, caught it and flushed it down the toilet. I was hoping that he would tell me that it was that day, but to my dispair it was last Friday when those events transpired. What I had here was a completely new mouse.

I searched every nook and cranny, where I had seen the mouse and where I thought it might go, and there was no gnawing and no poop. Obviously he was a new tenant. My biggest concern was that the first time I saw it was running out from behind my computer. If that little fucker damages any of my computer cables, then it turns personal - and I find the most painful, slowest way of killing it.

The *snap* from down the hall while I was on the sofa happened late last night (Wednesday).

Ding! Dong!

The mouse is dead!

Which ol’ mouse?

That fuckin’ mouse!

Ding! Dong! That fucking mouse is dead!

So now that I’ve defended my home from this onslaught, I’m going to reset the trap tonight, put it back in the closet where I caught the fucker, and let it work as an ongoing perimeter defence for subsequent attacks…

…I think I might play too much Command & Conquer.

What does it mean when you come out of your weekend more exhausted than when you go in? Am I getting old, or only living a little too young for my body to take?

On Friday, Simone, Alyssa and I went to a play written and directed by one of Simmie’s old beau’s, Phil Pivnick. The production was part of the Toronto Fringe Festival which has something to do with giving upstart writers/directors a chance to produce and show a play. After seeing the work (and frustration) that Simone had in doing the promotional material for the show, I was very interested in seeing it.

The play was called “Purpose” and centered around two characters who were little more than that… characters in a play without a plot (or Purpose). Normally I don’t like stories, movies, plays, etc. that are nothing but one or more character with a world of time on his/her/their hands… and use it to explore the inner psyche.

I hate those storylines so much!

When I see a story written by some Athiest who is against religion and faith, telling me to find my own value in the Universe BY THEIR MEANS then I get pissed off. Those who accuse others of hypocrasy, then become hypocrites themselves.

However, there have been a few cases where it has been handled cleverly enough that it doesn’t sound like preaching. In fact, “High Fidelity” is one of my favourite books and movies of all time, and it’s little more than one guy’s exploration of himself. “Purpose” wasn’t similar to “High Fidelity” in much more than the “story without a plot” sort of way, but it still held on to my interest for the duration of the play, and I laughed out loud many times. Not a roaring review, I know, but beyond the phrase ‘I enjoyed it’, I can’t claim to know enough about live theatre to provide a more inteligent review.

Saturday, Syl and I got to do what we’ve been planning on for a while now… a return to CTRL-A. Neither one of us has been to our old Anime Club at UWaterloo for years. Unfortunately, the habit is to start 24 episode (+/-) seasons at the first show of the Fall term, then show 2-4 episodes per show until they’re finished up in the Summer term. As a result, we saw episodes 21-23 of some very, very confusing anime drama series! It’s like coming into a theatre 10 minutes before the end of “The Sixth Sense”… “Yeah, so he’s a ghost… so what?”

Even so, we got to see a number of good shows, and wandered around the campus a while just to see what new buildings have gone up… oh, and one thing that I forgot about UW… despite the emphasis on Math and Physics, the layout of the grounds and sidewalks does NOT lend itself to “The shortest path between any two points is a straight line”.

Sunday, Simone and I did some quick shopping (drilling and cutting tools for Murdoch ,^_^) before going down to the Toronto Street Festival. We missed The Chickens - who Simone and I have enjoyed before when they opened for Rheostatics - but we got to see “By Divine Right” (wicked web site, despite a few technical glitches). There was little preparation in the performance, but they winged it pretty good… so well, in fact, that it made the show even better… more personal.

After dinner at O’Grady’s near the U of T campus (why is it impossible to get the bill at every restaurant I go to?) we wandered down to the Kool Haus for an AFI concert. Simone won tix last week, so it was really good for a free concert. I’m not a huge fan of the band (personally, I liked By Divine Right’s music better) but there were a lot of members of the cult following for the band.

It’s way better to be at a concert where the whole crowd LOVES the band. When we went to the Matthew Good concert (again, in the Kool Haus), hardly anyone was moving to the music. I got really pissed off that kids would push their way to the front in order to get close to Matthew Good, then just stand there while he pours his heart into every song. *slap*

</rant>

Anyway, Simone and I are going to the Foo Fighters tonight. As good as last night’s performance was, I enjoy this music a little more. I wonder when I’m going to get the chance to finish Murdoch?

hmm… new version of Blogger has come out, so we’ll see if they’ve fixed a few problems I’ve been having when publishing. One nice feature will be the more understandable verbage on the archive links (at the left side of this page).

Canada Day weekend rocked! Livewire gave us both the 30th and the 1st off, so we could all celebrate a nice, relaxing, four-day weekend without having to worry about eating into vacation time. Kudos to Livewire on that one, because the four days were exactly what I needed to recharge after a lot of work both at work and outside.

The whole weekend at the cottage had great weather. Andrew flew up from Cali for his (sorta-)annual Canada Day at the Clark Cottage. This was also Simone’s first weekend up in Owen Sound. I knew I would enjoy having her there with me, but it was really special to have her take part in something I almost take for granted now.

Andrew wreaked havok once again, occasionally assisted by me. Here’s a guy who can strike up a conversation with anyone… and usually does. Although, even he agreed that one of our neighbours was a little looney.

Now on to the ever-so-clever Tories. Yesterday’s big announcement about the 2010 Olympics overshadowed the possibility of discussions regarding Eves’ new “containment” of rising auto insurance rates. Last month when I was trying to get insurance rates for my new car, I was told that the insurance brokers were really busy, citing how everyone’s rates have skyrocketed, and consumers are looking for alternatives.

After reading through the details, I’ve come to the conclusion that Eves is using a “Trickle Down” method of protecting the Insurance companies, and trusting them to ensure “stable rates”. There are no protections introduced that force them to keep the rates low, or even stable.

Eves has just rewarded the Insurance companies for digging deeper in to our pockets.

For any of you who believe that Eves and his cronies have to suffer the same as us, you’d be wrong. Just as Warren Beatty’s character, Bulworth did, he undoubtedly has been given a sweet insurance deal in exchange for allowing rates to soar, and using a political system designed to work for the People in order to save them $500 million.

By making this announcement on the same day as news about the 2010 Olympics in B.C., no one will discuss it. There won’t be any CP24 shows talking about it. It will be the second or third or fourth news item on CTV news. It will pass and no one will take notice.

Anyone who does want to take a second look at the details will see that something proactive is being done. A third look will reveal that it is nothing more than another study that will no-doubt be ignored, if the Tories don’t like what it has to say.

In other news, Murdoch has been ripped apart. My first positioning of components resulted in the DVD-ROM being pretty crammed in. Since the top wouldn’t go on with that configuration, I’ve decided to rip it apart and try another setup.

Good thing I’m taking lots of photos of this process. I want to set up a web page on my adventures with modding after all this is said and done.

Anyway, the one thing I’m missing is an ATX power supply and power button. The motherboard I’m using has the ability to use an AT or ATX power supply. While I have several AT PSUs, I want to take advantage of the “software power off” feature only available to ATX.

Unfortunately, all the power supplies I’ve “liberated” are AT, save one. The one that is ATX is HUGE and I still don’t have the power button that needs to be connected to the motherboard. I think I pulled it from the pre-Murdoch version of the HEPC project, “Kenmore”, which was an IBM 300 PL. Naturally, the power supply was designed for the IBM case in mind, and there’s a proprietary power connector.

If anyone has an ATX case and power button (or even just a power button) from an old system they don’t want anymore, please let me know. Please know that I’m trying to curb my spending on Murdoch (most of the cost has gone to cables and connectors!) but I may be able to pay in Barrie currency.